Everything Does Matter

My favorite book this year was Everything Matters! not in spite of the end, but because of it. Now, please do not get me wrong--I do not like watching death in any matter, nor do I think life is "a messy and heartbreaking and overall pointless affair" like Junior might believe, but I love the paradoxically realistic nature of the science fiction story. As much as I might poke fun at Ms. Serensky for saying that she does "not want to have to be a silver lining for anybody," I believe that Junior's outlook is in accordance to hers; he thinks that the reality, not any false hope, is beauty. He wishes that people "understood...that from the moment two cells combined to become one the were doomed," because then they could truly appreciate life in its entirety. Although one may have the mindset of Amy at first, who saw things as "beautiful and doomed and thus terrible," if this person reads Everything Matters!, they can learn to appreciate the beauty in things that are doomed. This was by far the best book because through it, I learned to find beauty in everyday experiences.

annual flowers (a.k.a. they die every year)

Countdown

High school can be described as many things. Intellectually stimulating may be low on the list for some people, but I've found the top 10 best intellectual acheivements that I have experienced throughout high school.
9th grade:
10. Mrs. Ashkettle chose me to act as Ralph in The Lord of the Flies simulation in our classroom. Maybe because I was the only one in that class who talked (or at least was the only one awake during first period) but I thought of it "as a priveledge, a great honor" to be chosen not only as the leader, but the intelligent leader (Currie, 8).
10th grade:
9. Understanding reflections and refractions in AP Physics. I cannot to this day brag because my understanding of this subject is still a little faulty. It seemed like I saw everything "in a way that is not an acurate reflection of" itself (Currie 162), but I got the concept enough to get a 4 on the exam.
8. AP Tests in general. This is the first year of schooling I felt challenged and I realized it was for a purpose, not just "pure sadism on the staff's part" (Kesey, 189).
7. Completing the ENTIRE research project mostly by myself. No offense to my partners, they would agree, but with me, "they both guaranteed their trip was safe as pie, safe as pudding, not a thing to worry about" (Kesey, 209)
6. Using my Creative Writing notebook as a journal. I was used to writing without freedom, but "it [became] more than a moral duty to speak one's mind" (Wilde 37) as, suprisingly, I found out I have a lot to say.
11th grade:
5. Guiding my own teachings in AP Chem. In the period and a half, we had a lot of freedom, and I thought, "this world is good enough for me" (Wilde, 25) but I found that with freedom comes responsibility.
12th grade:
4. Finishing my data sheet before the Harry Potter 7 midnight release. I knew that without this project finished, "Idle merriment and triviality would be out of place" (Wilde, 21)
3. Being awarded with cum laude. I never felt praised for my academics, but it was nice to know that "I was obliged to be looked at, too" (Kesey, 277).
2. Getting the top Multiple Choice Score in AP English for the third quarter. Multiple choice has NEVER been my thing. I've always banked on my essay, which I guess "would simply be an easy way of passing our problem on to another" issue, so it's nice to know I have more brain power than I thought!
1. FINISHING. Guys, we have 4 real days of school left. I am the last person to admit to senioritis, I'm still quite motivated, but "there is is joy in this fact, greater joy and love in this one last moment than [we] experienced in the entirety" of our journey.

Children, Tears, and Almanacs...What Could Be More Enjoyable

Yes, for my favorite poem of the year, I, of course, choose the saddest one. For some reason, I am always drawn to sad movies, books and, now apparently, poems. When I first read this poem, I felt...well confused, as I do with all poems, but as I dug a little deeper, I knew it evoked raw sadness, "the sort of pure, inconsolable grief that only children are capable of" (Currie, 286). I have always cherished innocence and think it is the key to happiness. The fact that the girl from this poem barely had a chance to see innocence evokes that kind of sadness from me. I just wish for this child to be "separated, however temporarily, from [her] awareness of the" tears she can percieve everywhere (Currie, 266). When the almanac "plants tears," it truly shows how much the girls innocence is being taken away by her environment. Although some people may believe that children "should be aware of the trials ahead so that [they] may appreciate the effortless" nature of childhood, I think they should be ignorant of their innocence (Currie, 3). This is the only true path to pure, childlike happiness.

The Dream Day In AP English

Everyone knows that the best day in AP English includes a movie. Even if you have to take notes, that movie is a gift from the gods. In an alternate universe (or, you never know, sometime in the near future), we all sit in this well known room attentively, waiting for the movie to begin. For, we know any small misbehavior may threaten our privilege. I sit near the back, not on purpose, but it gives me a clear view of Ms. Serensky and her practiced hands, grading our in class essays from the previous day. As the movie wears on, I see a flick out of the corner of my eye. I turn to stare at Ms. Serensky. She is reading my paper. About a minute into it, "she swipes at her eyes with the back of her hand." Is my paper really that bad? Is she that upset with my reaction to her teaching techniques that I've actually brought her to tears? I feel deflated as the movie ends, knowing I have to face the big fat 2 on my paper. I flip over the paper she has placed strategically on my desk. I see a 9. I am in disbelief. A 9. "I [feel] like I [am] flying. Free." I look to see if she commented on the back. One sentence presented itself: "That certainly seems a satisfactory [analysis], does it not?" Yes, I think. Yes it does.

Im-a Blow That Up

Reggie paces as well as he can in his wheelchair as Lane gets the van ready. He does everything that Reggie tells him, using his quick wit to keep himself from blowing up--metaphorically of course. He knows that if Reggie were to actually understand his subtle sarcasm, Lane would have physically been blown up by the maniac already. Reggie snarls at Lane, "Pour me a shot'a that Turkey" as Lane replies, "Yes sir; [you've had] eight bottles and a pint" by now. Reggie doesn't care. All he cares about is blowing up the C-4 building. Earlier, when he had asked Lane his opinion on how the government treats disabled people, Lane replied, "I have had very little experience of it myself up to the present," and Reggie knew he had his man. Though, what Reggie perceived as weak and haughty, was actually a strong character hidden behind a facetious facade. As it gets closer to Reggie's ETA at the C-4 building, Lane drives the car more and more slowly. Although Reggie does not know this lack of rapidity is on purpose, he screams, "either move this van, or I'm a get real weird with it. I'm a blow it up!" Lane continues to drive at 10 miles per hour and calmly states, "I didn't think it polite to listen sir." He then guns the gas pedal, and jumps out of the car as it screams down the road, straight into a riveen. He rolls, brushes himself off, straightens his jacket and walks into the sunset; another crisis hidden by the behind-the-scenes, sardonic Lane.

Foggy Day in AP English

I sit in my usual dark corner of the English room, and now I can barely see. I thought the fog was bad. But this. This I can barely see through. I look down and see the multiple choice test I took yesterday. I know this will be the worst day in the history of AP English. As, I look around the room, one boy in particular stands out in the fog more than anyone else. I don’t know his real name, I just call him Journal Boy. To myself, of course, as I don’t speak to anyone in the class. “the only thing they’d miss if I didn’t show up would be the [pencil] and the [paper] floating around.” Journal Boy looks at his team and the rest of the room and exclaims, “I am both a blessing and a curse.” His group will win. I know it. I, on the other hand, do not have a group—a severe consequence of my not talking. As he spins his pen around on his hand and clicks it, “this sound mixes with the whirr and clang of the rest of the machines.” They all cheer and brag throughout the fog. With each click of Journal Boy’s pencil, “the hand on the end of that arm pumping bigger and bigger as he clenched and unclenched it.” We neared the end of the game, and the tallies on the board just floated along with the rest of the faces, A’s, B’s, C’s, and D’s of multiple choice. The only thing that has any detail is Journal Boy’s face—until a look of extreme anguish comes over his face, he suddenly disappears back into the fog. I look onto the board and see, “Winner: Group Bromden.”

The Year of Junior: Junior's Experience in Junior Year AP English

Q: So, Junior, as a person who has successfully completed AP English 11, how do you feel about your accomplishments?
A: Well, having completed another life before this one, I feel like I finally am on the right track. Before this life, I never tried. I thought, “What does it matter?” constantly and “blue was the predominant shade of [my] life,” to invoke what I now know is colorful diction, if I do say so myself (121). It is a completely different life than before, but even if I didn’t relive this part, it would still feel so different because of how much I have changed from this class.
Q: You say you have changed. What would you say is the largest thing you have changed about yourself due to this class?
A: The obvious answer would be to say that I have become smarter, that I know how to use my brain to its fullest potential. But that isn’t the biggest change. At times in this calls, my “grief was full and violent” due to the amount of work that was involved, and I found that, from this work, I learned myself better (299). I grew to become who I am.
Q: So do you plan on taking AP English 12?
A: Without a doubt. It is a difficult class, but I will choose “to suffer every same calamity and anguish a second time” because I know it will make me a better person in the end (292).
Q: Thank you, Junior. Enjoy your End.
A: Thank you. You as well.