Vacation

Every year, a new vacation pops into the heads of my family, and each of us has our own conviction of it.  My dad, worried about money, becomes overjoyed and passionate about good deals (as example, "I just found a hotel for thirty bucks a night!"--Thanks Daddy, all I ever wanted in a vacation was a smelly carpet and bullets being shot two doors away).  My mom begins trying on every outfit in her closet the day we begin to plan the vacation, and buys new clothes as well--most likely to make up for my dad's bartering with the hotel companies.  I begin a stream of opinions, non-stop, and very likely will not stop until weeks after the vacation is over, criticizing it in every single way, planning how to make it better the next time.  But the most strange reaction of all is my brother's; he feels no need for input and remains quiet.  Pathetically, he becomes the biggest target for vacation woes and a victim of all our bickering.

As a child, I can never remember a year where my brother had a happy, carefree vacation.  At age five, in Rehoboth Beach, he got sand in his eye and needed drops for the next two weeks.  Two years later, he got a terrible burn in Florida--the next year my mother learned to put sunscreen on him, only to find that sunscreen had infected his other eye.  Two years later, carefree, little ten-year-old Jonathan Halper planned to spend a week with Mickey, Goofy and the gang, but sprained his neck on the first day on Space Mountain--he was bed-ridden all week.  The worst of all was his thirteen-year-old adventure in Rehoboth Beach.  We had shrimp for dinner and, trying to kick him out of his "picky eater phase" (which still exists, by the way) demanded that he try some.  With the smallest bite, he slapped his hand over his mouth.  I critically said, "Jonathan, it really can't be that bad.  Calm down."  Later that night, he had to be rushed to the hospital, barely able to breathe, and was diagnosed with a death-threatening allergy to shell-fish.  Don't be let down by the fact I left out two stories of 105 degree fevers,one story of an ear infection and countless sunburns.  It is safe to say that my brother never has had high expectations for a vacation, and I guess, therefore, has never been disappointed by one.